How not to teach your children the Bible

May 31, 2016

This post is written in a satirical style. I am purposely writing the opposite to help you to check yourself for bad habits. We want to teach our children the Bible, but sometimes do not see where we are sabotaging ourselves. So, let’s look at a list of ways to make sure we aren’t teaching our children the Bible.

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Don’t read your Bible

It is pretty well known that we teach what we know. A mentor of mine taught me that we teach from our overflow. If we aren’t reading the Bible, we won’t have anything to say to our children. So, if you want to cover your bases on this one, tell your children to read their Bibles, but make sure you don’t read yours. Especially make sure that they don’t see you read your Bible. This will ensure that you won’t know what you are talking about, and will give a solid hypocritical persona to your children.

Don’t talk about it

If you occasionally slip up and do read a verse or two in your Bible, you can still make sure you aren’t teaching your children with this simple step. Don’t talk about what you read. Don’t mention the verse that someone posted on facebook. Don’t say anything about the verse that comes to mind in a particular situation. Don’t sing along with the verse set to music on the radio. If you don’t want to teach your children the Bible, you need to make sure it is not brought up in conversation. It should be considered an awkward topic that should be avoided.

Don’t live by the principles

You’re telling me you couldn’t keep yourself out of the Bible, and then you talked about it? There is still hope to make sure your children don’t catch on. Don’t actually act on what you read. The Bible is very concrete and full of actions for you to take. Simply refuse to take those actions. It says “Don’t lie,” and you can do the opposite. The Bible can still be considered null and void if you can keep from applying the principles found within.

Live each day on the fly

The best way to avoid accomplishing anything is to simply not plan for it. Yes, things happen by accident, but usually you need to do things on purpose. So, if you don’t want your children to learn about the Bible, make sure you fill your day with nonsense and don’t plan for the future. Don’t plan for Bible reading time, or practicing memory verses. Don’t schedule your day with purpose at all! Then you are sure to avoid purposeful things like Bible living.

Focus on only part of the Bible

I see your resolve is weakening. You can’t help but read the occasional verse, or even worse, passage of Scripture. You can’t help but bring it up in conversation sometimes. But I still have a great way to include Bible in your children’s lives but still render it pretty much useless. Only teach them part of the Bible! Only focus on the books at the end! Without the understanding of the beginning of the book, they won’t make any sense and can be easily twisted. You can also turn this around and only teach the beginning of the Bible. Then your children get the beginning of the story, but no reassurance of how it all turns out. You can also turn Bible reading into a game at the fair. Just pick a verse here and there, and see what you get! It’ll be great fun, and definitely meaningless without context.

Depend on others to teach your children

This one has worked for thousands of families. They just washed their hands of the whole thing and asked someone else to teach their children the Bible. This is surprisingly effective, even though it would seem the opposite. You see, your children will probably only be with this other person a couple hours a week. They won’t remember much of what was taught, and even if they do, it was probably dumbed down to be attractive and entertaining. It works! Your children won’t learn much, if any, about the Bible if you depend on someone else.

All kidding aside, do this instead.

Of course, I was being silly. We want to teach our children the Bible. Here are some concrete steps to take to make sure you are successful in this very important task.

Read your Bible for yourself. Spend time each day getting to know this book, and the Author that wrote it, better each day. What you learn will naturally be shared with your children. If it’s real for you, they are more likely to believe you.
Definitely talk about Scripture during the day! Share a verse at the dinner table. Use a verse to help your children understand relationships better. The list is endless. Make Scripture part of your conversations.
Apply Scripture to your life. If you don’t, you are like a person that looks in the mirror, sees the mess, and ignores it. Change your life to match what Scripture says. Knowledge is pointless if not followed by action.
Teaching your children Scripture is life giving. Plan for it. Set aside time each day to read Scripture together. Make it part of your school day. (affiliate link) It doesn’t matter when you choose, but make sure you plan it in and follow through.
Teach the whole Bible. There is great danger in giving your children only part of the picture. They need verses in context. They need the sweeping story from start to finish. They need the guiding principles of Torah, and the amazing truth of our Messiah Yeshua. Teach it all.
Teach your children yourself. This job was given directly to you in Deuteronomy 6. Don’t hand this job off and wonder why it doesn’t get done. If you want something done right, do it yourself.