This evening, as I kneeled in the rough dirt planting Brussel sprouts, I realized just how contradictory life can feel sometimes. The green little sprouts just starting out, glistening in the light from the fresh watering, are a beautiful symbol that life keeps going. In the same moment, I can feel deep grief and great joy. Though the pain of losing my mother can cut so deep that my chest hurts and I can’t breathe, I can also look around me and see new life popping up everywhere. As we have worked at building our homestead, I can appreciate the gift of fruitfulness around us even as I grieve whom I have lost.

I think Yah gives us the gift of seasons and cycles to encourage us in our walk. He may take us through dark valleys, but show us the beautiful mushroom hiding in the shade. Life is difficult, yet He gives us beauty and joy along the way. We are wise to embrace it all, to feel pain deeply, and to drink in the freshness surrounding us, all at the same time. We can climb the mountains and walk through the valleys, knowing He is always with us. We were created to feel, and though it grieves our Father that we will suffer in this life, He promises to never leave us, and give us flowers and sunshine along the way.

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. 

Isaiah 61:3